The project list for the week off is extensive. Finish How to Lose Your Job, Pt. 2… seriously mess around with Photoshop via a fine Xmas gift from the Mom… hey, I should clean up my local bookmarks, as well. NOTE TO SELF.
Oh yeah, I’m going to play some poker, as well. In preparation for a Vegas trip in February, the boys are gathering together to put in some reps at a local casino. The idea is to get a feel for a professionally run poker game versus the home game where we’re drunk, loud, and sloppy. Not that you can’t do the same in Vegas, it’s just that you’ll lose lots of cash to folks who aren’t.
I’ve been putting together a list of slang to describe Texas Hold ‘Em hands for a few weeks now. It’s a list of common and uncommon names for those two hole cards that I’ve collected from websites too many to credit here, so I’ll just say THANK YOU, INTERNET.
Editor, July 2026: This list stopped in 2004. The Internet did not. Updated with two more decades of slang — same rules as before, too many sources to credit. THANK YOU, INTERNET.
- 22 = Ducks, Quackers, Barely Legal
- 23 = Michael Jordan
- 33 = Crabs
- 3A = Baskin-Robbins (31 flavors)
- 42 = The Answer (to life, the universe, and everything)
- 44 = Mid-life Crisis, Magnum, Sailboats, Darth Vader
- 45 = Jesse James
- 54 = Chris Moneymaker (the 2003 hand that started the poker boom)
- 55 = Presto, Speed Limit, Nickels
- 57 = Chevrolet, Heinz
- 5T = Woolworth
- 66 = Kicks
- 69 = Big Lick, Dinner for Two
- 72 = Beer Hand, The Hammer
- 76 = Union Oil
- 77 = Hockey Sticks, Mullets, Sunset Strip
- 7T = Split
- 88 = Snowmen, Piano Keys
- 95 = Dolly Parton
- 99 = Get Smart, Gretzky, Phil Hellmuth
- T2 = Doyle Brunson, Terminator 2
- TT = Dimes
- J4 = Flat Tire (What’s a jack for?)
- J5 = Motown (Jackson 5)
- JT = Justin Timberlake
- JJ = Hooks
- JA = Jackass
- Q7 = The Computer Hand
- QT = Cutie, Quentin Tarantino
- QJ = Maverick
- QQ = Hilton Sisters, Siegfried and Roy, Ladies
- K3 = Seafood
- K9 = Fido, Canine
- KJ = Kojak
- KQ = Marriage, Mixed Marriage
- KK = Cowboys, Krispy Kreme, Gorillas (King Kong), Ace Magnets
- AJ = Ajax
- A8 = Dead Man’s Hand
- A9 = Rounders
- AQ = Mrs. Slick
- AK = Big Slick, Anna Kournikova
- AA = Pocket Rockets, American Airlines, Bullets, Alcoholics Anonymous
James McManus’s “Positively Fifth Street” has a whole slew of nicknames for the pocket cards. These are mostly derived from the names of professional poker players that were holding those cards during interesting rounds. However, I suspect that these sorts of names are only used for a few months to a year after the event in question.