I worked for each of these humans. They either hired or promoted me. I worked for them for many years. As is my way, I’ve vastly altered the details of each human, but the core issue I describe is the core issue. Also, each of these humans is very smart. No dummies. Here are their… more
An inability to ask for help is not the domain of introverts. We certainly make it a more laborious mental process, but in any group of humans where there are those who know and those who are learning, the latter population is hesitant to ask for help because they don’t want to appear dumb to those who have clearly figured it out.
First-year of college at UCSC. First computer science class. Introduction to Programming. The language: Pascal. Failed it. Failed it badly. Knew I was going to fail it halfway through the class. This was my chosen profession. I’d been a grocery store clerk, a butcher, a video store clerk, the guy who backs up the system… more
It would appear there are not a lot of written words here recently. Appearances are deceiving. There are lots of words and they look like this: I’m winding up a three-week vacation which has been focused on getting the next book in shape. My definition of “in shape” is “I can kind’a sort’a see the… more
Hi, welcome to the team. I’m so glad you are here at $COMPANY. It’s going to take a solid quarter to figure this place out. I understand the importance of first impressions, and I know you want to get a check in the win column, but this is a complex place full of equally complex… more
The quiet is my favorite attribute of a holiday break. My various Slacks are quiet, the house is quiet, and while it takes three days of quiet, eventually my head is quiet. Quiet creates reflection. I replay the critical parts of recent life and rather than living them, I observe them… at a distance. This… more
We need to talk about the end of sentences. Specifically, the end of spoken sentences. They’re a problem for me. I’m solidly in my 40s. And to this day when I finish a spoken thought, I often say “so,” and the reason is… you aren’t saying anything, yet. So. I should explain. To begin, self-diagnosed… more
Everyone is just… sitting there. Six of you. All managers who report up to Evan, your boss, who decided two weeks ago that “it’s probably a good idea for this leadership team to get together on a regular basis and talk about what is up.” He dropped an agenda-less, sixty-minute recurring meeting on everyone’s calendar… more
I’ve been working on a talk about public speaking for a few weeks and I open with my worst public speaking experience. I tell the story of how I got up in front of the engineering team at my first start-up and had a full blown panic attack. Slide 7 of 15 – full stop. Couldn’t continue.
Most humans don’t like speaking in front of other humans and for me that situation is only exacerbated by being a self-identified introvert.
Thing is… I like public speaking. It’s a high. I get energy from the room and I’ve never been able to reconcile my introversion with this aspect of public speaking. Good news: outgoing introverts.
From The Muse – Outgoing Introverts Do Exist. Here’s one of the 10 signs:
It Actually Takes Less Energy to Say What’s on Your Mind Than to Make Small Talk
Introverts like talking about ideas or connecting authentically. Fake small talk bores you and drains your life force.
Yes. Right. Totally.
Susan Cain who wrote the amazing Quiet has launched an online resource for introverts. Take the test to understand your introversion:
Given the choice, you’ll devote your social energy to a small group of people you care about most, preferring a glass of wine with a close friend to a party full of strangers. You think before you speak, have a more deliberate approach to risk, and enjoy solitude. You feel energized when focusing deeply on a subject or activity that really interests you. When you’re in overly stimulating environments (too loud, too crowded, etc.) you tend to feel overwhelmed. You seek out environments of peace, sanctuary, and beauty; you have an active inner life and are at your best when you tap into its riches.
