There are two periods of time regarding your job that I’m fond of quoting and they both involve the number three. First, it takes three months to understand a new job. Until those 90 days are over, you don’t really know what hand you’ve been dealt. Second, it takes approximately three years before you’ll become… more
When it was five of you sitting in the same room, it was easy. When someone needed to know something, they stood in the middle of the room and asked, “Who broke the build?” When a decision needed to be made, you looked up at Phil and said, “Phil, this needs to scale from day… more
The world is full of bullshit right now. Perhaps it’s always been full of bullshit, but I’m sitting here right now and I feel that we – as a species – have taken the bullshit to an entirely new level. Strongly held beliefs are based on the flimsy opinions delivered by totally unqualified sham journalists… more
Mad. Furious. Instantaneous rage. I’m not proud to admit it, but there is a short list of seemingly inconsequential events that give me blind, piercing rage. It’s an embarrassing list that I cannot fully share, but here’s a few: When a single key on my keyboard is slowly failing. When you chew with your mouth… more
Each year, the race to get a ticket for WWDC is on. Even with early warning, the window of ticket availability shrinks with every passing year. 2013 being no different: 2 minutes. Capping the number of tickets is a classic Apple move: we’re going to create a sense of exclusivity by creating an artificial constraint.… more
My family has a disproportionate love of Superman and I never quite understood why until recently. When I say disproportionate love, I mean manic crazy love. My sister took a tape recorder into Superman II, recorded the whole damned thing, and then transcribed the entire movie via a typewriter. Why? So she could read the… more
Hello, New Person. It’s great to meet you. We’ve been waiting awhile for you to come here and now that you’re here, we’re pumped. It’s going to be so much better with you here because we’ve built up impossible expectations in our heads regarding what you can do. Don’t worry – we’re not going to… more
I’m a rookie when it comes to listening to music, and chances are, so are you. Like me, you’re just fine using whatever headphones were supplied with your smartphone. You know there are better headphones out there, but you think, “What’s the point? I can hear the music just fine.” You can, but there are… more
You have a job and it has a name. A name of convenience. It exists so that when someone asks, “What do you do?” you can simply say, “I am a software engineer” rather than saying, “Well, there are these things called computers and computers run software and humans write software and I am one… more
When I do a talk, I introduce myself as “Rands. That guy who sounds like a fortune cookie on Twitter.” I relay this introduction with a mixture of joy and sadness. For me, the joy arrives when I successfully distill a complex thought down to fit the 140-character restraint of Twitter. These blurbs can easily… more