There's an extent to which you exude a Dog Whisperer-esque command of how to lead and manage a tough kind of team. I see a lot of value in showing someone worth hiring that they're wanted, from their first week through their fifth year.

At the same time, though, if they don't want you, your company's mission, and the chance to be a part of your team, isn't that saying something about the equation too? Maybe they didn't buy your story, your company's values, the excitement of their role? In which case, how much wanting could have really swayed them? Building software, you retain and release your objects and have total control over their existence. It's easy to forget but people, obviously, are more complicated.

So yeah, it's important to provide a rock in the midst of the internal back-and-forth that's a given with any career transition. But hopefully, if everyone does their job right, you'll be working for a company where truly compatible stars will feel they're coming home. Where they have found the place they've been looking for. A bit like love -- you want them, they want you.

And a bit like love, wouldn't it be unhealthy not to have a certain amount of wanting reciprocity going on?