About halfway through reading this, I realized I could equate most of your points to "Dinner parties at my house".

"Thanksgiving in Spring": All are invited and there's too many people to keep track of and talk to. I sit down with some wine and let people find me. The potluck-style provides a wide variety of food qualities.

8-10 person dinner parties: A group of people I have specifically chosen because I think there will be some interesting interactions. I walk around with some wine and try to be a part of every conversation.

One family over for dinner: The people we really want to get to know better. The kids are playing together, adults finding their common ground. I drink wine while cooking dinner. By the end of the night, if all goes well, there are already running gags and inside jokes.