Apple Extra points for unexpected awesomeness


Apple’s Worldwide Developer kicks off in San Fran^h^h^h^h Jose tomorrow at 10am with the slick and practiced reveal of all the coolness you’re going to want for Christmas. The following is my arbitrary scorecard for watching the event1.

Operating Systems Yeah, all the operating systems are going to be updated. I’m giving 10 points each for iOS 11, macOS 10.13, tvOS 11, and watchOS 4 and an extra 10 points for each operating system that is released to the public. I’m not looking for a lot out of these operating systems upgrade although I remain excited about all of them except watchOS.

There are rumors of a social networking application. If Apple announces a new social networking application, there will be an automatic 25 point deduction from the final score. Social networking features inside of existing apps do not qualify for this penalty.

Bonus #1: If “collaboration,” “continuity,” or “courage” is used to describe a feature set on any platform I’ll award points each time. Maximum of 30 points.

Bonus #2: there are 30 points allocated for unpredictable OMFG operating system awesomeness.

Mac It’s all long shots in the Mac category. It’s way too soon for Apple to have a credible long term response to developers deep rooted concerned about hardware for developers. However, there are 25 points at the ready if Apple directly and confidently highlights within the event that they are addressing developer concerns regarding the Mac platform.

There are 25 points awarded if they say anything about the Mac hardware platform. Another 10 points are available if they announce plans to deliver Apple displays. Shit, make that 25 points.

Bonus: 25 points available for miscellaneous Mac hardware awesomeness.

iPhone This year is the tenth anniversary of the iPhone, and I’m pretty sure the hardware, when released, is going to blow your mind. You’ll need to brace yourself because you’re going to a see an impressive frameless piece of hardened glass that also happens to be a phone.

I deeply want to see the engineering feat to achieve absolutely zero buttons, cameras, and speakers on the front of the phone, but I am genuinely concerned that we end up with the maddening TouchBar situation where it’s not clear when you pressed a button or where a button is located.

There will be bonus points available if the camera bump is gone because that means Apple has revised, ya’know, physics.

However, as readers noted, iPhone hardware is usually announced in September, so I’m carving off 25 OMFG points just in case.

Catch-all This final category is a catch-all for all remaining product and services. Let’s start with a 15 point award for the announcement of the Siri Speaker with an extra 10 point award hiding in the wings if the product performs my first three voice commands correctly.

The iPad Pro seems like a no-brainer, but I’m super happy with my current fat iPad and Pencil, so I guess thinner and faster plus perhaps mimicking the frameless ascetic of the iPhone? Seems like a stretch. 15 points for the base upgrade plus ten bonus points for additional iPad “whoa.”

Finally, you can’t have a WWDC without the token “One More Thing” (OMT) award. The last time this was used was the long-rumored music service in 2015 which in my opinion was not worthy. The prior OMT was the Apple Watch and that is one more thing. There are 50 points on the line for a credible OMT, but just to make it interesting, there will be -50 points if the OMT is misused.

A quick review of the scorecard with potential points per category:

  • Operating Systems: 140 points (With a potential -25 deduction)
  • Mac: 100 points
  • iPhone: 25 points
  • Catch-All: 100 points (With a potential -25 point deduction)

I’ll be live tweeting the event, keeping score, and delivering loving snark. I’ll write-up the final result later this week.

Happy WWDC!

  1. Some points can not be awarded without hands-on usage. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

4 Responses

  1. Scott Engel 3 weeks ago

    Apple hasn’t announced new phones at wwdc in ages. Why are there points listed for that?

  2. I don’t suppose any Mac hardware announcements (except the future of the Mac Pro, or something related to the future of MBP. MBP CPU refresh/price drop at the most).

    The iPhone. Well, they moved it to the Sept/Oct release years ago and I don’t think they would change that. The only exception would be the anniversary iPhone. I mean it could be the OMFG breakthrough product announced today, but I expect the standard (and of course more affordable) successor, say 7s, on regular schedule in September.

  3. Michelle Obama at the WWDC? Epic fail. Epic, epic fail. We wanted to hear about Apple, not about how much a has-been first “lady” hates our current President.